Ups & Downs

Last Wednesday I found out I was pregnant again. I was so excited but also a little nervous. The next evening I had lost the pregnancy - an emergency surgery; tubalectomy with ectopic pregnancy. I was a little sad at the time but okay and glad to be healthy and on the road to recovery. I've been recuperating and taking it easy over the last several days. I am feeling the loss now, a week later, for some reason. I guess it’s just time.

In that span of 24 hours, I'd begun picking out names and trying to figure out where on earth we were going to put him/her in this tiny house. I was worrying that our youngest, who just turned one on Sunday, would feel excluded because she would be a middle child. I was concerned because at work I've been in some negotiations with my boss about moving onto full time and into a new position. I felt like I was letting him down because at the time, the new position, something I'm very excited about, could not hold a candle to the new life I was expecting. I was going to have to look at minivans for family transportation - oh my goodness.

Now, no worries about minivans, no pressure on the youngest (yet), and I get to move on into the new position where I work. It's funny how life changes. In the span of 48 hours my expectations of where my life was heading jumped lanes for a while but then landed practically back where it had been before.