I've been having trouble sleeping well lately (running in the family although different sources of trouble). I start out around 8:30 sleeping in bed with the girls (as a buffer between them so they'll settle down) (i know, bad bad). Then I usually wake up several times as I've been kicked or the bladder is full. I get to my own bed sometime after 1am. Anyway, usually it is the kicking or bladder that wakes me up and gets me moving.
Today it was the strangest set of dreams. I haven't slept that deeply in I can't remember when so my dreams always feel to me like I'm half awake and I can usually control what's going on. The first set of dreams was really odd. I was in the house I'm currently living in. It was the middle of the night and really storming outside with wind, rain and lightning-I like that. I am walking through the hallway toward our kitchen when I can sense and see the shadow of someone in the kitchen. As I get closer, I realize it is my Dad, who is dead. I look at him apprehensively, but not terrified and say, You're not supposed to be here. He looks at me and tells me to shut the sliding glass door as it is letting in rain. I woke up a bit here because I don't remember more of that bit and I'm lying back between D and A. But then, in the next piece of dream, I see a bit of grey/black smoke hovering over my youngest child in the bed. I tell it to go away. It is not wanted here. I wake up more, a little uncomfortable from the confrontation, and really can't go back to sleep now because the bladder is screaming. So I head to the head - haha and go back to my own bed. Once settled there, I dream some more.
First I dream about a house that I do not know. Z guy and the girls are there; more like a chalet with lots of open space and windows. We've come back from a trip somewhere and it is snowing outside. There is a downstairs room that is accessible from the outside of the house. I go down there to check on something and the door is busted in. To me it looks like an animal did it-a big animal. Z guy comes down to check after much pestering and is nonplussed about the whole thing. In this room, which seems to be almost like a den or second living space, there is a big black refrigerator. The doors to the frig and freezer parts have been ripped off and all the food inside is ransacked. Still he is not upset. There are cracked and crushed eggs all over the drawers in the frig. We will have to get a new outside door and frig and clean up the mess. Still, I am the only one upset. That is all I remember from that set as we move to the next.
Somehow we moved next to a dinner party in a house I've never been to before. This time it is just me and Z guy. Most of the people I don’t know but they seem to be friends of Z guy’s. Finally the food is ready to eat. No one is eating at a main table; they are all just milling about the house with their plates. I find that there is a lot of fat on the meat that has to be cut off. I thought it was supposed to be turkey but it looks more like pork and it is very tough. Suddenly my Mom is there and they house had turned into my grandmother’s house-of sorts. The food is forgotten and instead we’re going through her things trying to decide what to keep and what not to. There are several people in the house but they seem to be more friends of my mother’s and grandmothers and some of them are not living but are ghosts. Z guy is not there anymore. My mom shows me a ceiling fan that has apparently been augmented by my grandmother. It has these dried flower things sticking out of the top and sides and where the motor should be is a large glass container containing all kinds of things; mostly china dolls. Mom is trying to decide whether to take the whole thing or just some of the dolls. She opens the glass container and starts removing the dolls and figurines. Suddenly I see a tiny child’s ring inside and know that it must have belonged to my grandfather. I get very excited and try to get my mother’s attention but she seems off in her own world. I turn around and there is my Dad next to me who says something and I don’t remember what it was. My mom starts laughing at what he says and I am upset because she shouldn’t be able to hear what he’s saying. I realize at that point that she’s slipping away and dying and I can’t stop it. She says it’s okay and that she’s really looking forward to going. It will be so nice. I’m scared and upset but don’t want to upset her so I stay calm and let her go. Now I can’t go back to sleep. So I wake, make a cup of coffee and write in my blog for the first time all summer. As I type that last line, my youngest comes padding through the kitchen. My day has begun .
Okay, was all that from the gummy worm I had after a dinner of Mexican food! :O
